Best Friends

More Than Roommates

Mixed-orientation marriage couples who desire to make their marriages work often say they are married to each other’s best friend. Best friends in mixed-orientation marriages have an enduring quality that often last decades. Many husbands and wives will say It doesn’t get any better than being married to our best friends. After 20,30.40 years we complete our partners sentences and we have talked about anything and everything.

The comfort and familiarity that comes from all these years together can also create a fixed routine. Part of the mixed orientation marriage process is an examination of all aspects of our relationship not just the sexuality. The different sexualities often highlights other disconnects in the relationship. Couples describe this stage as feeling like the couple is nothing more than roommates

It’s OK to have different interests

One cause of this stage is the move away from what I call the Ozzie and Harriet model of marriage. These couples have often lived a life of 24x7x365 of togetherness. A couple gets married and their friends either became our friends or they fall by the wayside. Hobbies and activities are shared activities or again they go on the back burner. While this works for some for others It is a failed model .

We have our own favorite friends and activities in addition to our shared favorite friends and activities. There is a synergy that enhances our relationship when we bring the excitement of a rich tapestry of activity into our shared lives. This roommate phase can be worrisome and this is a point where mindfulness comes into play. If we know what is going on we can address it and move the relationship in a more positive direction. When we make an effort to recreate our marriage dynamic to make it more richly rewarding we can renew the love that brought us together in the first place.

Putting the “best” back in best friends in mixed-orientation marriages.

I recommend planning some vacations together as that has built in opportunities to reconnect. My wife and I go on a two mile walk every chance we get. This gives us some one on one time away from the distractions. Walking together is a great way to stay in shape. We feel more connected and more in love then ever. Each and everyday we count our blessings at the joy we bring each others lives.

This entry was posted in Mixed-Orientation Marriage and tagged mixed-orientation marriage on May 17, 2019.