Mixed-Orientation Marriage Statistics

Mixed-orientation marriage statistics for success show that many mixed-orientation marriages face challenges that are too complex for the relationship to survive with mutual happiness and satisfaction. I have seen numbers of those that make it depending upon the parameters and extent bisexuality is weighed as a factor range from a low of 17% to as high as 52% . There is no doubt that analysis of the duration of mixed-orientation marriages compared to marriages without differing sexual orientations is complicated.

Aaron Hoy and Andrew London in their 2018 research “”Same-Sex Sexuality and the Duration of First Different-Sex Marriages” do a great job of describing the complexity of the variables that might affect statistical outcomes. Some of the challenges in quantifying success include likelihood of getting married in a mixed-orientation marriage in the first place based on same sex marriage options and acceptance upon coming of age . In other words a bisexual ,gay or lesbian populations would have seen a lot fewer options besides a hetrosexual marriage in 1970 compared to 2020. Another important variable often not accounted for is bisexual identity vs gay or lesbian identity . Combining bisexual and gay/lesbian sexual orientations together may not properly account for important differences. Separating the populations highlights variations in duration of marriage that do not always align with expected outcomes. (Hoy & London,2018) No matter what the percentages for success or failure mixed-orientation marriage success statistics don’t usually convey the message that for the minority of couples who have what it takes mixed orientation marriages can in fact be wonderful dynamic relationships.

There are several issues with mixed orientation marriage statistics that I believe may influence and skew their own outcome. One is the false majority and false minority problem. The false majority problem occurs when a couple that has everything they need to have a happy rewarding mixed orientation marriage gives up, divorces  and breaks up the relationship because the statistics say most are doomed to failure. If most mixed orientation marriages cause earlier divorce, these couples assume their marriage is doomed too. The opposite problem occurs when a couple that really has relationship issues that cannot be resolved   adopts the false minority narrative. “Ahah! “ they say “It says right here mixed-orientation marriages can be wonderful” .

  I have shared in my book the story of the wife who when confronted with one of the often quoted dismal mixed-orientation marriage statistics said to her husband ” What makes you think we won’t be one of the husbands and wives that makes it. ” Indeed nothing at all. The couples who do not have the necessary  relationship dynamics to maintain a happy marriage  who adopt the  false minority narrative have their  own set of challenges and that is not helpful either.

There are so many different relationship styles and so many different belief systems that each person, and each couple needs to travel the journey and go through the process themselves .

We need more mixed-orientation marriage role models.

One of the known challenges is there are very few positive role models for bisexuals in mixed-orientation relationships. Perhaps mixed-orientation marriage statistics would feature more success stories if there were more positive examples of mixed-orientation marriage success. As recently as 2007 there were very few resources that supported how to make mixed-orientation marriages work. In order to help fill the void for a more positive voice I wrote Mixed-Orientation Marriage Pathways to Success as a resource for mixed-orientation marriages where both the bisexual partner and the straight spouse agree they are married to the right person. They simply want some ideas on how to make their mixed-orientation marriage a happier relationship. I hope visitors will find something there to make their mixed-orientation marriage a kinder gentler relationship. Originally Posted 3/31/2018 at Living Fabulous Updated and moved here 12/22/20

References : Hoy, Aaron and London, Andrew, “Same-Sex Sexuality and the Duration of First Different-Sex Marriages”
(2017). Sociology. 8.
https://surface.syr.edu/soc/8