Mixed Orientation Marriage Pathways to Success
Readings for Couples in Mixed-Orientation Relationships.
Table of Contents
- Preface
- Introduction
- Mixed-Orientation Marriage Success
- Empathy and Balancing Needs
- Why does a bisexual marry a straight spouse?
- The Bisexual Identity
- Is my partner bisexual enough?
- Coming out
- Openness and Secrecy
- The Line in the Sand
- Monogamy /Non-monogamy and Mixed-Orientation Relationships
- Same Sex Sex -- Finding sexual satisfaction in mixed-orientation relationships.
- Open Relationships
- Understanding challenges to success
- Talking about Sexuality and Sexual Health
- Asexuality and Differing Sexual Desires
- Keeping the happy in happy holidays and special events.
- Finding Support
- Positive Thinking and Success
- Living Life on the Pathway to Success
- References
Author's introduction and background for the writing of Mixed Orientation Marriage Pathways to Success.
Introduction to mixed orientation marriages.
Mixed-orientation marriages really can be happy rewarding marriages. This chapter introduces the concept of mixed-orientation marriage success and sets the tone for a "We can do this" approach to mixed-orientation marriages.
Empathy is perhaps one of my favorite human traits and empathy is a fabulous component of mixed-orientation marriage success. In addition to empathy balancing needs in a relationship helps create a win win for both the husband and wife.
A common question is "Why does a bisexual, gay or lesbian marry a straight spouse? The short answer is we fall in love with who we fall in love with. This chapter expands on why sometimes the person we are meant to spend our lives with doesn't match our sexual orientation "
Bisexuality is a complicated sexual orientation with many different ways one can be bisexual. This chapter includes a review of some of the models of bisexuality as well as some of the variations.
Some spouses identify as lesbian or gay yet still love and want to be married to their opposite gender spouse. Bisexuality isn't just an identity it is also a behavior. Some straight people enjoy occasional bisexual behavior.
Coming out is part of many lesbian,gay and bisexual journeys . First one needs to accept and come out to oneself and then the decision needs to be made about a broader coming out. The process is complicated by our relationships and other peoples expectations. Also coming out is only good for you if its good for you.
The transition from the secret no-one must know to more open communication about differing sexualities has a number of observed patterns and this chapter looks at some of those paths. It is not always as simple as secrets/no secrets.
I developed the line in the sand model as a way to visualize the give and take that takes place in many happy mixed-orientation marriages. That is we each need to try and meet the other spouse at their "I'm happy with that"
The space between Monogamy and Non-monogamy is an emotionally challenging one, Many mixed-orientation marriages usually include a discussion of how the differing sexualities will be handled in the marriage.
Finding ways to satisfy sexual needs is an important discussion in mixed-orientation relationships. This chapter explores some of the considerations.
Sometimes the best solution includes adding someone outside the marriage to meet the gay,lesbian, bisexual or straight needs of the spouses in a mixed-orientation marriage.
There are a number of challenges faced by mixed-orientation marriage couples, this chapter highlights some of the more common ones I hear about.
Many couples discover that their communication about sexuality improves dramatically when they start openly discussing what being in a mixed-orientation marriage means to them. If an outside partner is part of the marriage then the conversation should also include a discussion of safer sex practices, HIV and Sexually transmitted infections.
With acceptance of gay, lesbian and bisexual sexual orientation there is also now greater acceptance to the varying degrees of sexual desire. Having an asexual and a sexual spouse in a marriage creates both challenges and opportunities to create happier more rewarding marriages for the asexual spouse too.
Holidays and special events often add changes to carefully crafted routines. We examine some ideas to keep in mind to help navigate these special occasions.
When different sexual orientations are first discovered there is often a sense that we are the only ones dealing with this. Many couples don't know any other mixed-orientation couples , some never even new that a mixed-orientation marriage was a "thing" There are on-line and in person support networks and many options for professional counseling.
Positive thinking and a "we can do this" as partners and best friends will help find solutions that have everyone happy with the outcome"
When couples work through the challenges and if they find mutually agreeable ways to make their marriage work ideally the marriage moves out of the crises stage and into living a more loving, rewarding life together.