Positive Attitudes Leading to Mixed-Orientation Relationship Success

I am very pleased to be reading an increasing number of mixed-orientation marriage success stories. The common theme seems to be a positive attitude by both the straight and the gay, bisexual or lesbian spouse that these couples married the right partner; they simply  need to work out the details of being married to someone with a different sexuality. Many of these couples report the best communication of their marriage. Some  are enjoying exploring new ways of celebrating their sexuality and relationship styles. There seems to be an increased openness and awareness that there are all kinds of relationship options.

Couples are unashamedly describing everything from monogamous solutions with the couples lovingly exploring   new adventures in the bedroom to all kinds of solutions regarding adding another person or persons to the relationship. It turns out the two become three solution where the couple adds a third person to their sexual intimacy once thought to be” unicorn hunting “ are a real working solution for some of these successful couples. Others have cracked open the open marriage door with friends with benefits, closed loop relationships or part time partners. The solutions have been as varied as the couples. I have also seen marriages where monogamy and ethical non-monogamy are parts of the same journeys. In other words success comes from both a monogamous and a non monogamous solution from within the same relationship. Another aspect of these successful stories include the understanding that it is behaviors and attractions we are reconciling are not just words with loaded meanings instead it is behaviors and our individual thoughts about those behaviors.

While couples desperately seek examples of others' success these stories highlight the uniqueness of each couple and the individuals in the relationship. In other words as I have said all along, this is our relationship and no one but ourselves should define what that relationship looks like. It is especially refreshing to see an increasing number of straight spouses saying, “ I love my spouse because they are bisexual gay or lesbian not as some sort of willingness to overlook their sexual differences but because they recognze that it is all those personality traits that are part of their sexual identity that make them someone so special to love. Turns out biisexual, lesbian or gay these spouses make fabulous partners and we are finally getting good at proving it and our straight spouses are agreeing because their lives have become better as well, The win win that every problem solving dynamic can benefit from.

Posted by Mark April 18,2021 in Mixed-Orientation marriage Success