Mixed-Orientation Marriage Happiness

Happy Wife - Happy Husband

Mixed-orientation marriage happiness works best when both the husband and wife are happy with the relationship. A common thread in mixed-orientation marriage circles with a bisexual or gay husband is how the newly out bisexual husband is acting like a kid in candy store. With adolescent exuberance they are running around with new friends doing new and exciting things. The straight wife in this stage of a mixed-orientation marriage is understandably feeling left behind. When one adds this change in relationship dynamics on top of sexual orientation issues it’s easy to see how the relationship is experiencing an upset. From the bisexual husbands view I get it. They have repressed and given up so much of themselves they become more like the walking dead . I also understand the straight wives view. All of a sudden their bisexual husband is full of excitement and joy with life that seems to be coming from outside the home and marriage.

There are several ways to address this excitement. First the bi spouse needs to be sure to feedback their joy into the relationship. They say a rising tide lifts all boats. We must be sure we bring our straight spouses along with the excitement and joy we find in life. Many mixed orientation relationships go through an evolution as the relationship is recreated to reflect the understanding of mixed sexual orientations on the relationship.

Sharing Bisexual Exuberance

Some couples that used to spend all their time together are suddenly finding this isn’t the case. One needs to be sure this doesn’t happen in an ignorant vacuum. Instead we must work with our spouses to help them find their joy. Perhaps they have always wanted to play a musical instrument or wanted to visit a museum. Straight spouses should be encouraged to nurture their special friendships. Perhaps two best friends could plan a conference on something that the husband and wife don’t have a shared interest.

I believe that self actualization, personal growth and joy with our lives is an ongoing lifelong process. Many couples put this process on hold. Perhaps it is to raise a family. In other cases it might be because jobs and careers take center stage. In any case the work required to process an emerging mixed-orientation relationship can be a terrific opportunity to review other aspects of both spouses lives.

Mixed-Orientation Marriage Happiness I’m Happy – You are Happy

Many of the happy mixed-orientation marriages I see have a straight spouse that has also found new interests and joy in their life. I encourage spouses to not get preconceived ideas as to where their spouses happiness should come from. My joy might come from a visit to a gay clothing optional resort my wifes joy might come from dinner and a movie with a friend. Sometimes she enjoys a trip to visit family without the worries of wondering if I am having a nice time. In closing I believe it is OK to strive for personal happiness. It is even better when we get to share our personal happiness with those we love. When you find your joy its easier to be happy for your spouses joy. In summary It takes two to find mixed-orientation marriage happiness.

This entry was posted in Mixed-Orientation Marriage and tagged mixed-orientation marriage on July 30, 2019.