Shades of Bisexuality – Men Sharing the Joys of being Men

I write often about the rich diversity of bisexuality and how there are  so many different personal  descriptions about what it means to be bisexual. There is a subset of bisexual men who simply want to celebrate the joys of being men with friends. These men will often say they won’t fall in love with a guy, or they have no interest in kissing a guy, or  they are not looking for a boyfriend. These men are clearly heterosexual in their emotional needs.  They  will say they  just want some casual sexual play with a male friend. The classic friend with benefits. This type of bisexual is more common than many seem to believe. 

These men love their wives and enjoy sex with them, there are just some aspects  that wives are not able to provide.  To be blunt most men love being a penis owner and there is sometimes an inner desire to share that joy with others that understand. Most wives put up with their husbands love affair with their penis with mild amusement, some may even make joking comments , so men’s thing about their penises  is a thing. Society’s stigma against same sex relations has made sharing sexuality with male friends more difficult than it needed to be and has resulted in a repression of this simple aspect of male experiences.

While sharing in the pleasures of masturbation with friends  is a common teenage coming of age phenomenon society makes it very clear that as adults men should outgrow that behavior. With greater acceptance of gay and bisexual lifestyles it has become easier for men to reexamine their interest in this casual penis play. To some it really is just recreation, but even so,  the drive to share in these simple pleasures can become something they really need to do , almost a compulsion,   like an itch that can’t be scratched.   I have seen many examples of these type of bisexuals enjoying some male to male time , perhaps just some mutual masturbation, sharing in erotic massage,  getting that need satisfied and returning to a much more balanced married life with their wives.

I have noticed that many of these men are just looking for a friend or friends to share these simple pleasures with. Perhaps the random hookup culture is partially explained by the simple explanation that this is nothing more than sharing joy and pleasure with someone who knows exactly the pleasures that come with having a penis and its accessories is about.  In other cases men find that one special friend and they spend years sharing these added benefits of their friendship without ever falling in love , really just being friends sharing in the joys of being a penis owner.

Masturbation groups that have formed where men can get-together and celebrate the joys of masturbation with like minded men is a perfect example of casual play that doesn’t need to go any further sexually or emotionally while bringing a lot of fun into men’s lives.

While most gay men and bisexuals have a much deeper and broader need to celebrate their sexual orientations the casual just want to share experiences with a guy group is one that I don’t believe is well understood. It can be confusing when this need for shared sexual experiences with another guy surfaces in a relationship. I also think it is why so many of these men think their behavior is no big deal, it is just recreation with a friend they say. I know men whose wives have come to understand this type of bisexuality , their husbands enjoy themselves with their wives acceptance , the marriage thrives and everyone is happy.

When wives and girlfriends discover their partners have been sexualiy involved with men they often assume their partners will leave them for a man and it can often be a traumatic event with more questions than answers. I do not wish to downplay the effect on a relationship to discover one’s partner is having sexual experiences with others . I simply wish to highlight one of the needs being fulfilled. It can be confusing to discover husbands have these needs to have some sexual play with men when one is otherwise very happy in a heterosexual relationship. Hopefully reading that sometimes it really is just another form of enjoyable recreation will help.

This entry was posted in Sexuality and tagged bisexuality on November 14, 2020.