Mixed-Orientation Marriage Pathways to Success

Appendix A: Support Groups

A listing of some online support groups that provide support to those whose lives are touched by Mixed Orientation Relationships.


Making Mixed Orientation Marriages Work

This group has been created for those who are in mixed orientation marriages. Straight spouses who are married to gays or bisexuals and also the married gays and bisexuals themselves.

MonMOM is a group for monogamous mixed orientation marriages.
This includes combinations of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, straight and transgendered couples where sexual orientation differs. Partners are living monogamously.


MMTL · Men Married To Lesbians

Membership is restricted to men who are married (in the past, present or considering in the future) to a lesbian or bisexual woman. There is also an expectation that you are seeking help in coping with the challenges of being in a Mixed Orientation Marriage (MOM) and that you desire to have a more positive relationship with your spouse.

MMTL is intended to be a supportive environment in which men are free to express their hurt, anger, and confusion. Our goal is to facilitate a process of emotional healing through sharing of knowledge, strength and hope. We share our stories – good and bad, staying together or not – with each other because it helps to write about our own experiences and to read others’.

HUGS is an acronym for Hope-Understanding-Growth-Support
HUGS_Couples is a list for couples of mixed sexual orientation who are working to keep their relationship strong and growing. It provides a positive environment where these couples can EXPRESS their concerns, SHARE their successes, and GIVE and RECEIVE support and encouragement. The requirements for joining are:
1. The couple is of mixed sexual orientation; that is, one or both partners is g/l/b.
2. The couple is interested in and working on maintaining their relationship.
3. The couple desires to receive and give support in a POSITIVE way with other MSO couples.
4. Since the list is for couples, both partners must join.

Alternate Path
This is a group for women seeking help with finding alternative solutions to divorcing their Bi/Gay husband. We want to provide positive discussions that will help the wives adjust to the news that their husband is gay/bi. Please use common sense when applying for membership to our group, if you want your identity kept private, use an alternate ID at the time you apply for membership. Use this same precaution when posting details to the group that you do not want to have known by your spouse or anyone else, as we cannot guarantee complete privacy.
HOW- Husbands Out to Their Wives how-request@groups.queernet.org
Husbands Out to their Wives is support group for married Gay or Bisexual men who either have or intend to come out to their wives. (The requirement is that a commitment has been made to themselves that it is necessary for their personal well-being and to have absolute honesty with the wife.) The online support group uses a traditional Email list to provide shared experience and support.
In addition to the online support the New England members also meet for dinners and an annual barbecue hike at locations around Southern New England. For information on how to join send an email to :


Shybi Forums

The Shybi sites are BBS style forums. Not for everyone because as is often the case with this type forum there is a mix of celebrating the sexuality of our  bisexuality and support. The site is ad supported so be mindful of that as well. In addition the shybi site is  somewhat public so becareful how you join and post but that said there is some valuable support and sharing of similar stories here. There is http://www.shybi.com/ for bisexual women and http://www.shybi-guys.com/forum/ for bisexual men. Both sites have a section for married bisexuals.

BMMG · Boston Gay & Bisexual Married Mens Group
A discussion group for gay and/or bisexual married men, including those who are working to preserve the marriage and those in the process of separation or divorce. The Boston group meets at the Boston Living Center (BLC), 29 Stanhope Street, near Copley Square in downtown Boston.


Additional Resources

Our companion site Livingfabulous.org celebrating bisexuality and gender diversity may have additional information of interest to our readers however please be aware some of the material at mixedorientation.com has been drawn from articles there so there may be some duplication.


A great new resource for couples in mixed-orientation marriages seeking success is located at Alternate Paths .